What messages do students pay attention to? Does anything that we say stick? I was able to discover part of the answer years ago during a career and life lesson taught to 6th grade students. I asked them to imagine living 25 years later. I asked many questions like what job would they have, now would the get to work, what is their greatest accomplishment and what makes them special.

The last question asked was “What advice would you give 6th grade students?”

There were several versions of answers. A few highlights:

• Keep up the good work and you will see that hard work pays off.
• Don’t give up ever!
• Try your best and get a good education.
• You need a good education to get through life.
• Believe in yourselves.
• Think ahead of what you want to be and make your own decisions.
• Strive for what you believe in and you’ll accomplish it.
• Follow your dream and never give up on it.
• Take care of your life the way you want it to be.
• Just keep on trying and don’t let nothing get in your way.
• Don’t smoke. Grow up to be somebody. Do not do drugs. Try to get somewhere and be happy of what you did accomplish.
• If you have a dream, catch it and run with it.
• Do your work and finish college and have a nice future.
• Achieve what you believe in, strive for what you want to achieve.
• Never give up on your goal you want to accomplish, because you might accomplish it.
• Seize the day, go for it and don’t let anyone stop you.
• Never give up, just keep trying.
• Be whatever you want to be.

After the students shared their answers to that question I challenged them with Are you walking the talk, are you practicing what you preach, are you following your own advice?Most of them said yes.

My challenge to them challenged me. Am I living the way I say for others to live?

The students see how we live and they do listen to what we say and what we don’t do. May we always walk our talk.

“To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” Eccelesiates 3:1

The passage goes on to speak of a time of birth, death, love, hate and laughter and dance. Yet it doesn’t speak of a time to wonder. I wonder why?

To take time to wonder is something I needed to be reminded of as I was one Memorial Weeend. Marie, my wife and I brought our two grandsons Brandon age four and Brian age two to visit my mother. The whole weekend was like being a counselor at summer camp.

One morning, Brandon and Brian and I took a walk. It was sometimes hand and hand and other times running and wandering. We stopped and looked both ways before crossing the street. We listened to the birds. We stepped over and on the bugs, oops. While crossing one street recently paved, Brian, the youngest stopped me.

“WOW! COOL!” he declared as he began to walk and dance around the tar swirls in the street.

My adult mind wanted to hurry up and finish the walk. I had more important things to do, don’t you know. Then, I realized Brian saw something I didn’t. I decided to see it too. Brian, Brandon and I walked the swirls. I saw different patterns. I thought of the paving equipement used to pave the street. I could smell the tar.

Taking time to wonder still is something I need to be reminded to do. Then, I can see and enjoy the WOW! and COOL! of the moment.

How can you be attentive to the wonder in your life?

What simple ways can you capture and celebrate the wonder?

Who can you share the wonder with?

Take time to wonder. It’s worth the wonder.

Stand Up, Move Around, Make Noise

Henry David Thoreau said, “trust no thought you get sitting down.” Was he referring to the traditional classroom? Years ago, I attended a retreat with all the 6th grade teachers in our middle school. We were asked what is needed to improve the education of our students. The answers depended on the subjects taught. The math and science people wanted more computers, the English and reading people wanted newer books.  “Get rid of the desks,” was my suggestion. “Those desks are not conducive to learning. Have you ever tried siting in one? The only ones that benefit are the desk manufacturers. What a sweet deal with the school district that must be.” Unfortunately no one agreed or disagreed.

Imagine a learning environment without desks! But how would the students learn? My plan is simple – have them sit on the floor, stand up, move around. We could have a learning lab that is literally hands on. Relax, we could have simple stools, sofas, and even recliners when we needed to sit.

Most of our early learning was done outdoors: making mud pies, picking up leaves, catching fireflies and butterflies, running, oh yes, the running!  As we grew older, some of our best and lasting learning happened in extracurricular activites like sports, clubs, school newspaper,etc. Norm Katz, Little League baseball coach taught us  what it means to be a member of a team and play as a team. Mrs. Riordan’s  rock club in 5th grade taught me more about science than her science class.

Instead of shouting to students, “sit still, don’t move, be quiet” we need to free them and ourselves to learn by standing up, moving around and making noise. That way no one would ever be sent to the hall for talking too much. We’d all be guilty.

While you learn:

STAND UP!

MORE AROUND!

MAKE NOISE!

“Trust any thought you get while moving around.”

A triangle represents the old model of family involvement. The partnership showed each person: child, teacher and parent as one of the angles. This picture lacked focus and a sense of collaboration. The new model, a circle with the parent and teacher equally rotating in orbit around the child in the middle represents a united and focused effort. Since the child is the reason for the school and the relationship between teacher and parent, there needs to be a clear definition and distinction of that partnership.

In 1999-2000, I worked as a Middle School Advisor for Cleveland Scholarship Programs. I was assigned to a middle school on the west side of Cleveland. My primary responsibility was to educate the students in early awareness about careers and colleges. Also, I was required to conduct parent meetings. Which basically consisted of food (always a good bribe to insure some attendance) and some materials and handouts that Cleveland Scholarship was required to communicate according to its funding.

Many of my parents were single mothers. I attempted to create flexible back-up sessions for those who couldn’t attend the scheduled evening sessions due to work or the challenges of getting someone to care for the children. I enjoyed these one on one sessions even though the number that participated was small. It allowed me to address directly some of their personal concerns and still communicate the general information I was required to convey.

The demands of a teacher are high. Not only do the demands include educating a classroom of children but also factoring in the learning needs of each child according to their age and stage and culture. The teacher needs to be flexible to address the challenges of the diversity of cultures and family dynamics of the various children. In addition, the teacher is required to communicate with the parents as individuals and as a whole.

The parents have their own unique demands. Some are single parents working and raising children. They have time conflicts and challenges of work, school, and home. The balancing and juggling seems to be a constant. Even parents who both live together have challenges including work and its demands and relationships between each other as adults and the raising of the children and overseeing their education at school.

Parent involvement needs to be defined and distinguished. Parent involvement is “an all-inclusive term used to describe all manner of parent program interaction: policy making, parent education, fundraising, volunteering time, and even the simple exchange of information of various sorts with staff”. (p.27 “Home, School, & Community Relations” by Carol Gestwicki)

Gestwicki states “There is no single model of parent involvement. Schools choose to address it in various ways ranging from a low level to a high level of involvement”. (p. 27) It seems that the school and teachers and parents need to define and distinguish the level of involvement required. All the parties involved would have a say in the level of involvement and clearly know the roles and responsibilities of one another.

Empathy on both sides would improve the communication between teacher and parent. Allow the parents to “walk in the shoes” of the teacher and teachers move beyond their world into of that of the parents. Why not have a getting to know you gathering? This could be done at the start of the new school year in small groups and preferably one on one. Before we address the education of the child, let’s learn about each other and what are our respective challenges. That way we can genuinely respect each other and create a partnership of collaboration and cooperation. Then, our conversations about the child would be much more mutual, supportive and productive. And I believe the level of involvement would be  higher and more proactive. Thus, creating a complete, cohesive, and comprehensive involvement circle.

Brain pruning

We are born with 100 billion neurons and by age three each neuron has formed 15,000 connections with other neurons. We are given more connections than we will ever need.   We absorb each new bit of information but none of it makes sense to us. The abundance of connections causes us to be overwhelmed by too many signals from many different sources. To make sense of your world you have to shut out some of the noise in your head. 

By the time we are sixteen pruning occurs and we lose billions and billions of the synaptic connections. Your genetic inheritance and early childhood experiences assist you in finding some connections smoother and easier to use. You are drawn to these connections again and again and they become stronger. These signals are loud and clear.

Certain behaviors and reactions fit and feel right to you because of these stronger connections. The neuronal network gets reduced to a smaller number of connection so you will develop into an adult. Without the pruning process we would remain in sensory overload stuck as a child. 

What makes each of us unique is our network of mental connections. This creates and causes a recurring pattern of thoughts, feelings and behaviors. Our personal mental network is a filter for us to sort and sift our experiences so we can zero in on some stimuli and ignore others.